


Pheromones

by AnabielVriskaMars



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-24
Updated: 2014-06-24
Packaged: 2018-02-06 00:34:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1837873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnabielVriskaMars/pseuds/AnabielVriskaMars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You really should've asked someone else.</p><p>You truly, desperately, definitely should have asked someone else.</p><p>Your brain is not really processing the information she's spewing about hormones. Your eyes are kind of glued to her lips.</p><p>"Are you even listening?"</p><p>No, you are not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pheromones

**Author's Note:**

> As per request, for Buttdick :) asked in my work After 13 Years

You could have asked Rose.

( _Rose isn't as good with biology and you know it)_

You could've asked Egbert.

( _He's a complete fucking idiot.)_

Man, at this point, you're kind of wishing you would've asked Karkat.

( _Oh god you would_ never  _hear the end of it)._

Seriously, looking back, summer school doesn't even seem like a bad idea.

Nothing could be worse than this.

Tops in science, physics, biology and health, you've got your goofy, dear friend Jade here, waiting to pour some scrumptious knowledge into your thinkpan so hard that when the zombies come down and eat your brain they're going to fucking  _taste_ the knowledge.

They're gonna get all motherfucking brilliant up in this bitch, absorbing your superior biological powers because you're gonna know this shit so hard.

But  _no_.

No because you're trying, you really are; you're doing your absolute best to focus on everything that's coming out of her mouth,

_but you can only see her lips._

Oh god you are such a fucking dork.

You are the dork-coolkid from the beginning of Not Another Teen Movie (which fucking sucks dick, by the way, Egbert is never going to give you those hours of your life back) tht has a thing for Chyler Leigh before she turns all up like a doll and he's got the hots for her.

Cause nah, Jade doesn't  _need_ to be turned into a doll.

She's got these big teeth, and these huge glasses and her hair is usually a mess, but she's the realest, most unironically and unconventionally gorgeous girl you have ever had the disgrace to rest your devil infested eyes upon. Your pasty white ass has been turned over its heels out of blown-awayness and you're a total moron who's going to fail biology class if you don't stop staring at her face instead of at the notebook.

"Are you listening?" she cuts into your thoughts and you feel like a douche for not paying attention. 

You were certainly  _not_ paying attention.

"Nah." You shrug, "can you repeat that last part?"

"What last part?" she's not even annoyed, bro. She's just so fucking nice that she's not angry she came all the way here and brought you snacks so that you could study.

"The part about phermanones."

"Pheromones."

"Gesundheit." 

She raises her eyebrows. "You can say words in german but you can't pronounce an english term?"

You shrug. "German's cool. Everything sounds like an insult."

She smiles a bit and shakes her head like you're a lost cause but its adorable.

"Anyways," she says and you hear the laugh in the word. 

_Point for Strider._

"Pheromones are released by individuals to attract the opposite sex. Or the same sex. Or whatever you're into, really." She explains, "Its nature's way of making people want to mate. You know how it starts; attraction, looks, kisses...in theory, there's a higher rate of chemical exchange in a kiss, which your body uses to compare another person's immune system with yours to see if its different. The immune system looks for variety, so if its different, the attraction can consolidate or dissipate." She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. "Well, at least that's the theory."

You just made an inhuman effort to listen to this whole explanation --and you're not even gonna lie to yourself, when she spoke about kissing, you glanced at her lips.

You swear, she makes science sound  _good._

"And what do you think?" You ask, because you really need to get your head cooled down and its hard enough as it is.

"About pheromones?"

"About the whole thing. Saliva exchange. Inmune system. Say-no-to-incest."

"Its a perfectly viable explanation. I think it makes sense. Your body is trying to find the best complement for its immune system to pass it on to the offspring. It makes perfect sense to do a test run with another person's saliva, which holds a huge amount of Inmunoglobins."

You're trying really hard to be cool about this, but you feel warmth in every single one of your extremities.

"And you agree that a kiss can create or dispel attraction."

At this, she frowns and pouts a bit her lips to the side, thinking.

"It makes sense," she says, "but I don't think we should leave out the psychology of it all. Rose could probably cover that side better than me."

"So a kiss can't make you attracted to someone?"

"Not really." She says, and looks at you like you guys are not talking about this particular subject. "I think a kiss is an exchange of information, and that if you don't give it meaning, its nothing more than a simple exchange."

"So," and you're really playing this carefully, "you're saying you could kiss, say,  _me_ , and not feel anything?"

You know that its kind of wrong that you're tricking her scientific mind into a kiss. You really do know it, but you really want to know if its possible to dispel this  _attraction_ you feel for her. 

It would make studying so much easier.

"I mean yeah." And ouch, that kind of stings. "You're my friend," but you see the tiniest bit of a hesitation from her, and her eyes diverting for half a second when she says that.

"Fine, then you won't mind if I kiss you."

She holds your gaze.

"Not at all." She replies.

And you stare.

And she stares.

"Fine."

"Fine."

So this is your one shot, and you really can't mess it up, so you go all Strider on her.

You push back your chair a bit, and use your left hand to turn her head to face you.

And then you kiss her.

You wanted to be all seductive and motherfucking Hitch on her, but you really can't. The muscles in your face don't take orders from your brain. Your face has decided that this kiss is soft and sweet and gentle, and your left hand decided that it liked its spot in her cheek.

So you're kissing her and you think that you should probably pull away, but then again, somebody burned down the postal office that connected your brain to your body. Its on fucking strike. Your neurons demand a rise in pay, but your nerve endings are feeling everything and you are  _so thankful_ for those beautiful workaholic motherfuckers.

When you pull back its not really pulling back. Its more like she shifted her chin a bit and kind of dislodged her lips from yours, and you can hear both yours and her heavy breaths.

You pull back and regain your position in your chair, trying to look as nonchalant as its possible.

Because  _of course_ , this was only a scientific experiment.

Jade, on the other hand, looks completely debased.

Her gaze is kind of lost, and she's licking her lips and her skin is flushed pink and she looks adorable when she's fidgeting and smoothing her hair over and over.

"Yes, well," she says, "as I was saying, uhm, DNA exchange is an important basis for uhm, human production of, uhm, offspring. Excuse me."

She stands up and rushes to the bathroom, and it kind of strikes you that maybe she's not as cool with your 'experiment' as she might have led you to believe. 

You know you should feel happy, but you kind of start to panic. 

What if she's embarrassed now?

What is she doesn't want to study with you anymore?

Oh  _fuck, Strider_ , why.

When she comes out of the bathroom, she looks a lot more gathered, but she doesn't look at you in the eyes, and it kind of drives the point home.

She finishes the chapter and you walk her to the door of your apartment. 

She turns around to say goodbye to you at the door, and she hesitates. She licks her lips, and you want to kiss her again, but restrain yourself.

"So anyways," she murmurs, "that's everything covered for friday's test. You should be good to go."

She steals a glance at your lips, and that kind of does you in.

"Jade," you call after her retreating form. She turns around, but looks at her feet rather than you. "Are you okay? You seem... shaken up."

And now  _you're_ embarrassed to bring the kiss up. Jesus Christ, man up, Strider.

"Yes, I'm fine," she stutters, "I just--"

"Yeah?"

"Nothing." She squeezes her eyes shut for a moment, as if she's pushing the words out. "I just, uh-- I guess I'm not as scientifically oriented as I thought."

And she bites her lip. You raise your eyebrows.

"Chemistry." She blurts. "I'm not immune to chemistry."

And oh lord she looks more embarrassed than Karkat when his cousin Kankri started preaching at school. You take the reins. This is the moment, Dave, don't be an idiot.

"I'm glad." You say, and lean over.

She doesn't even have time to react. You're kissing her again. It takes all of your courage and this has the potential of being terribly embarrassed, but Dave Strider does not run away from anything, goddamit. 

And when she puts her hand against your cheek you let out a huge breath you'd been holding through your nose. 

You pull back from her, and risk for once giving her a half smile.

She's smiling with all 32 of her goofy, gorgeous teeth.

"I think you should come back tomorrow," you say lightly, "you know, to look over these last chapters."

Jade is blushing. It makes your blood rush. "I think that's a good idea."

"And of course," you say, "I  _need_ to invite you for dinner." Oh god you are such a fucking dork, Strider, Bro's probably rolling in his grave. "You know, as a thank you for the tutoring."

You hear her laugh. Its okay to be a dork if this is your reward.

"That sounds fantastic. We can go after you ace that test."

You scratch the back of your head, and you don't really want her to go, but she has to.

She stands on the tips of her toes and gives you a lingering kiss on the cheek and whispers softly into your ear. 

"I'll see you tomorrow."

And you go back into your apartment and look over the chapter on Pheromones.


End file.
